ANOTHER SIDE TO THE DANCE
    I moved into a large and sun-filled apartment in Beacon early in September of 2001. In all the unpacking upheaval, it took a long time to even make SPACE in which to dance, much less to actually get back TO it. I had just gotten back to my morning 'practice' when the world as we had come to know it was blown to bits and a whole new life was heaped upon us.
    While numbly cruising the web (once I was able to get back online at all) I came across a discussion thread at the Middle Eastern Dance topic over at Suite101 called Dancing Through Adversity. The original postings were going in a different direction, that being dancing in spite of possible disapproval from family or church or life that needs time from you. I picked up the thread and took it in a different direction:

    "Ever since I started dancing, I have come to see that I simply CANNOT dance without at least some thread of joy to kick things off. There are times when I simply haven't FELT like dancing and I've tried to let the MUSIC get TO me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

      On Wednesday, after the World Trade Centers went down, I was scheduled to have all kinds of publicity photos done. Of course I cancelled the whole thing. It is now Sunday and I just walk past my outfits. Right now it feels like I will never feel that joyous again.

        I know that BellyDancing is also a celebration of all that is female and the amazing strength in that. It IS about Beauty and Power, I KNOW that. And ultimately I'm sure it will be yet another form of healing, I'm just having trouble getting there yet......"
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    A day later I answered my own post:

    "FINALLY I DID come to the point where not only COULD I dance, but I was completely aware of how much I NEEDED to.

      I was reading something by an Empath (someone who truly FEELS things throughout their bodies) where she suggested that those of us who caught the indescribable blast of emotion in our bodies needed to work those intense emotions UP through all our chakras in order to release them. She later spoke of a tremendous need to GROUND ourselves. All of this made me think toward dancing again.

       I rather observed myself:
I wondered if it made any sense to bare my belly....ABSOLUTELY.......
    It's the center of my strength as a woman. Watching and feeling it MOVE reminded me that WomanEnergy does NOT start wars. We have a very DIFFERENT kind of strength and always have.

I wondered if it was at all necessary to put on a top covered with gold beaded fringe....ABSOLUTELY.......
    I needed to see the movements of my body set off OTHER movements.

And for a moment I wondered if I should bother putting on my dancers' belt with a thousand tiny bells........OF COURSE.....
    Every vibration of my body rang a thousand tiny bells. That made PERFECT sense.

        I used the same music I always do and yet the dance was completely different. I rebuilt those towers with my stretching, I strengthened SOMETHING by the action of strengthening the muscles at the very center of ME. I really had no idea what I was CARRYING until I began to move my shoulders and began RELEASING it. Even the faster movements were defiant and strong. I finished, tired and sweating and I felt great. This was total prayer in motion....ABSOLUTELY."

And yes, we do GO ON.....By the beginning of October , 2001,
I'd begun to teach my very first class,
picked up a couple of more performances,
and got to see where I arrived
A Year Later.......

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