"Ever since I started dancing, I have come to see that I simply CANNOT dance without at least some thread of joy to kick things off. There are times when I simply haven't FELT like dancing and I've tried to let the MUSIC get TO me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
On Wednesday, after the World Trade Centers went down, I was scheduled to have all kinds of publicity photos done. Of course I cancelled the whole thing. It is now Sunday and I just walk past my outfits. Right now it feels like I will never feel that joyous again.
I know that BellyDancing is
also a celebration of all that is female and the amazing strength in that. It IS
about Beauty and Power, I KNOW that. And ultimately I'm sure it will be yet
another form of healing, I'm just having trouble getting there
yet......"
--------
A day later I answered my own post:
"FINALLY I DID come to the point where not only COULD I dance, but I was completely aware of how much I NEEDED to.
I was reading something by an Empath (someone who truly FEELS things throughout their bodies) where she suggested that those of us who caught the indescribable blast of emotion in our bodies needed to work those intense emotions UP through all our chakras in order to release them. She later spoke of a tremendous need to GROUND ourselves. All of this made me think toward dancing again.
I rather observed
myself:
I wondered
if it made any sense to bare my belly....ABSOLUTELY.......
It's the center of my
strength as a woman. Watching and feeling it MOVE reminded me that WomanEnergy
does NOT start wars. We have a very DIFFERENT kind of strength and always
have.
I wondered if it was at all
necessary to put on a top covered with gold beaded fringe....ABSOLUTELY.......
I needed to see the
movements of my body set off OTHER movements.
And for a moment I wondered if I
should bother putting on my dancers' belt with a thousand tiny
bells........OF COURSE.....
Every vibration of my body rang a thousand tiny
bells. That made PERFECT sense.
I used the same music I always do and yet the dance was completely different. I rebuilt those towers with my stretching, I strengthened SOMETHING by the action of strengthening the muscles at the very center of ME. I really had no idea what I was CARRYING until I began to move my shoulders and began RELEASING it. Even the faster movements were defiant and strong. I finished, tired and sweating and I felt great. This was total prayer in motion....ABSOLUTELY."
And yes, we do GO ON.....By the
beginning of October , 2001,
I'd begun to teach my very first
class,
picked
up a couple of more performances,
and got to see where I
arrived
A Year
Later.......